Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thanks For Giving

Of course, I just had to lose my job right around thanks giving, yea thanks, thanks for making me wear a hair net AND, and a fucking beard net and then cutting me loose.  ANYWAY, how you guys doin? I hope you stuffed your fat asses with turkey. I wonder how it would feel to have someone cram stuffing up your ass, imagine that..... I enjoy this time of year, its such a simple holiday and in my book, it deserves all the acclaim it gets.  We simply get together with people we love, cherish, enjoy hanging out with, wanna fuck,have fucked, and stuff our faces with the food of the pilgrims. I'm glad we've upgraded past tasteless turkey and discovered flavor although some people haven't found it yet. The eating part is great, the family is great, the festivities are great, but by the end of it you feel like a cow, just farting and releasing methane into the atmosphere. My dads definition of a fart "its the air that passes over the shit, that's why you have to keep you interstines clean".  He always claims that his farts don't smell, a guy so self confident that he believes his shit don't stink, now THATS BOLD.  One thing that always got to me was white people's whole "giving thanks" bit.  You see, everyone else(meaning foreigners and outsiders), are already thankful for the food we receive, so thankful that we don't have time to acknowledge it, we just eat it while we know its still on our plate.  Only in America will you pause, look at your plate, and say "OH THANK YOU", you go to Africa and that shit would be gone before you said "O...".  Eat while it's there.  Being broke during black friday, how ironic. Well, that's me, but I have a trick to overcome it, I refuse to look at any of the sales.  Yeup, it's quite simple, don't stare at the big shiny diamond and you wont want it, well you wont want it AS much. Side note, whats the deal with saunas? Did someone want to profit off their near death experience of dying in an oven?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Free At Last

First and fore most, howdy dooty to everyone. I just came back from the mother land, my mother land, India, what a wonderful place. This has been my fifth visit in the past 6 years and I'd say its been the most influential. I saw things and met people that have really made me question the " absolute excellence" of the quality of life in the states. Red, white and blue isn't necessarily the best, there are somethings that white, orange and green can offer that we lack. I really enjoyed the feeling of care and true brotherhood. People there are just more friendly and welcoming, you say hi to someone here, and a few things go through their mind(who the hell is that, what a creep, he looks like a rapist), completely fucked thinking. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. While in India, I was waiting in line for the bathroom, and this guy literally had his chin on my shoulder, not giving a damn, just simply waiting. I started thinking, what the hell is goin on with this guy? I was about to say excuse me, can I have a little space, but when I twisted my neck to tell him, he looked so comfortable and non threatening. I realized he didn't have bad intentions, he just felt I was another Indian guy waiting in line and that we had a connection based on our place of origin and culture. I started noticing more of this type of behavior, as people passed me and accidentally nudged or bumped me, they would simply run their hand down my back as a parent does when comforting you. It was really nice. I feel that here in the states, our first reaction is always defensive and that's sad. Now I'm not saying when some random person comes up to you and starts touching you everywhere that you simply embrace them, no of course not, there are weirdos out there, I'm one of them, but try and feel them out before you react. Basically, don't treat someone like a thief BEFORE they steal something. If I didn't rip off your pearl necklace, don't act like I did, that shits not nice/courteous. Well besides that, I ate a BUNCH of awesome food, shit was delicious. Fresh goat curry, fresh Keema Naan(minced meat stuffed into bread), fresh jalebi, kulfi, and anything else that was edible; I'm telling you, it was well worth getting the shits.

Apart from that, I had GREAT conversations with my dad, a big burly guy who epitomizes the true nature of a man.  Although me and my dad have opposing ideologies and thoughts on many things, there is a common ground where we share strong beliefs and have similar principles.  Now this may be due to our relationship, since I'm his son he respects my ideas more so than he would someone else who had the same thoughts, after all, how shitty is it as a parent to have complete disconnect from your child. Growing up from age 7 and beyond, I would see my dad every 2-3 years and every year if I was lucky.  You're probably wondering why our meetings were so spread apart, ha, well it wasn't because I didn't want to come out of my room, or because we didn't get a long, no, its because after my parents divorced, he decided America wasn't cut out for him so he said "fuck it"(in english too) so you know he meant it.  You would think this would create a lot of communication gaps between us, which it did, no matter what you think, you can never truly make up for time, just doesn't work.  In saying that, my dad and I still managed to keep our communication flow pretty strong and as a father he instilled that in me.  I could tell him ANYTHING, no matter how fucked, good, bad, ugly, sexual, uncomfortable, he could handle it, and boy could he handle it.  My dad now knows my deepest down secrets, I'm not talking about shit like "hey dad, I was the one who scratched the car", NO.  He knows the core of my artichoke, my principles, my beliefs, my sexual history(all the shit I've done) and from now on, there isn't shit I can't tell him.  And it wasn't a one way street, all that I told him, he told me, its interesting at 24 to find out what your Indian fathers favorite sex position is, and let me tell you, I agree with him on it. haha