Friday, November 22, 2013

First Impressions

Let me start off on a positive note, I hate first impressions.  There's nothing faggier than a first impression, you either give a complete false image of yourself for which people will talk copious amounts of shit, OR, or you give a true representation of yourself for which 90% will talk copious amounts of shit. SO, breaking it down, you're better off being your strange fucked up self, than a flavorless, watered down mocktail because it ends up being the same shit.

Why, WHY must we use Ice Breakers.  I'd love to slap the faggot who coined that term and has forced us all to introduce ourselves using this retarded system.  You cant just go up to someone and say, "hey whats up?". Of course you can Yuvi. I'VE TRIED!!! People get freaked the fuck out, they look at you like you're a lion asking a zebra for directions.  Instead, you have to use some bullshit green lit phrase that's socially acceptable, like bringing up sports.  Walk up to complete stranger, "hey did you hear they traded........" yadda yadda yadda, who gives a fuck! And bingo, you should see how calm and naturally people respond, "oh I know, I can't believe it, he kept fumbling the ball so I guess they had too.....(wait, who the fuck am I talking to.......ah, who gives a shit). 

Some people think they're having such deep conversations when they're totally NOT.  Some people think deep conversations consist of talking about someone elses relationship issues and really breaking it down, "yea I mean, if thats the way he treats her I don't understand why she cant see that he's not going to change....... "I know, I thought she knew that........" Oh my GOD! Shut the fuck up!!!!  These are the moronic things I constantly hear that drive me nuts.  I hear it at Trader Joes, Costco, Ralphs, Yogurtland.  Now you know where I shop. Well, thats that for now. I'm gonna go to sleep, well I'll probably watch some youtube clips of zoo animals taking shits, THEN go to sleep. Nighty night.

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