Monday, February 17, 2014

Pressure+Time =..............

What to write, what to write, I'm writing even though I don't feel like writing. Lets see what comes out when one is pressed for content.  Its interesting what happens when someone pressures you to complete something or have something done in a tight window of time. That's probably how the space ship was created, the government probably just decided one day that they wanted to go to space and then thought "lets see if we can pressure the hell out of some scientists and engineers to see how close they'll come, I mean its never going to work but lets see what they do".  Well low and behold, the pressure was on and with that pressure came combustion and with combustion came rockets and with rockets came astronauts, a word that didn't exist. They had to create a space shuttle and a word to call the people traveling in them, they could've just called them space men or space walkers but no, they had that pressure cooker going so that's what they came up with. 

Another example of innovation due to pressure is the dildo.  The dildo actually started out as a rolling pin for kids to use as a safer option. During the 1950's, cooking sets were becoming extremely popular so companies started pumping out culinary toys for kids, the rubber rolling pin being one of them.  It was great for both the kids and the parents except for one thing, the more the kids played in the kitchen, the busier mommy was with the children, leaving daddy coming home tired, hungry and horny.  Well the more this went on, the more tired, hungry and horny daddy became, he grew more and more agitated, coming home tired, horny and unable to eat any of the "play food" his wife and kids hd been making all day.  Well one day he reached his limit and his pressure cap popped off, he stormed into the kitchen, grabbed the rubber rolling pin and stuck it up mommy's ass.  She let out a frightening shreek immediately followed by a long, over due moan.  The more she moaned, the more daddy repeatedly stuck it in.  Pretty soon, everyone in the neighborhood was doing this, you could hear moans for miles.  Daddy then decided he was on to something and could see some dollar signs.  He started thinking of names for the product, rubber rolling pin didn't sound very exciting.  He began the naming process, the rubber wonder, no, the rubber dubber doooo(in honor of the flint stones) but that wasn't gonna work either, the moaner, no, the moaner boner, Ahh yes, that sounds great, well, there's gotta be something better, by this time people were calling from all over town asking what this "thing" was called, daddy felt the pressure, he wanted to make his mark with his invention, the calls were growing in volume until they stopped, there was a knock at the door, then two, then three, then four and kept going ON and ON and ON, the kids were crying, mommy was moaning(she realized she didn't need daddy anymore and began self pleasuring), the pressure was unbearable, daddy ran to the door and yelled at the top of his lungs, "It's a bbb, dahlh DILDO!!!!!" All the neighbors gasped in relief, looked at one another in confusion and began returning to their homes.  From that day on, the Dildo was selling like mad, it was selling off the shelves.  Daddy quite his job at the factory and could now join mommy and the kids in the kitchen, each with a dildo in one hand and a ball of dough in the other. 

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